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Holding Jordynn sleeping, hearing birds sing (so beautiful) reminds me of easter, and to ruin this moment I HAVE TO PEE and I can hear brewski puking.

Getting Ready To Move

Brewski is so odd, I wouldn't say he likes Jordynn, he just knew there was water in there, so he got in. He was in there the WHOLE time I was giving Jordy a bath.

When she cries or is upset....Brewski will lick her hands or feet and just look at her like what is wrong. hahaha pretty cute. But most of the time he could care less. But I bet since they are growing together, they are going to be best buds. He should get ready to give back rides, get his ears tugged on and his tale bitten. hahah

Hiring a mover: It ends up being the same cost, and way less stressful to hire someone to come pick up our stuff and move it out to Utah. All we gotta do is pack and get a storage unit for what we aren't taking. Since we won't need Kevin's stuff, then again we might just end up taking it anyways, might be cheaper to just do that, rather than rent a storage unit for a year. May as well!

Moving April or May: Looking for a place to live in Carbon county as of now. Get things moved in end of March beginning of April, But I want to stay with Kev in TN until he leaves. Don't want to miss anytime. He will be getting deployed Mid-April to Mid-May, not sure yet.

Visit to Utah: Will be visiting Utah while Kevin is on leave in March. Not sure what days just yet. But pretty much we will go out there and see family and do our rounds as well as find a house for myself and little Jordynn, and of course Brewski. So we need a fenced in yard and all that. I'm amazed at how much cheaper Utah rent is than Tennessee. Its a couple hundred dollar difference for size of house and yard...all that.
Its going to be hard to try to relax and see all the family. We want to stay at his Mom's for a couple days, as well as his Dad's. Then gotta find a place, and see my fam. But in this case, Kev's family is first. He hasn't been able to get to Utah for over a year now!! And now he is getting deployed. So gotta get the family time in.

Jordynn: Still need to order Jordynn's birth certificate!!! Ah. I keep forgetting about it. At least there's not really a time limit on ordering it. I guess I got her social security card :) thats the most important thing right now.

So we've been thinking, we wish we didn't add the extra 'N' on her name. But it looks cute, just long, too late now, and we're not paying the cost and hassle to change it! haha I'm sure she'll like it anyways. Its different.

Her 4 month checkup is on March 4. Sheesh by that time she'll be about 5 months old. I'm not excited for more shots. Its so sad to see her hurt. Since she weighed a whopping 11 lbs 4 oz on December 17, 2009. I can't even guess what she'll weigh on March 4. Considering that's 3 month difference. I'm gonna take a guess and say she'll be about 14 lbs. Right now I'm thinking she's about 13 something. I took her in to the night clinic a few weeks ago for her cold, I just can't remember what she weighed. If I remember right it was 12 lbs 9 oz. I know it was 12 something. Can't wait to find out her measurements.

I am amazed at how Jordynn is so interested in the TV, she just stares in wonderment. She doesn't like to swing anymore. Kinda weird. she loved it for a few months. Now you put her in it and she's MAD. So I gotta put her in her high chair with toys in hands reach and turn on Cartoons, or even a show I wanna watch. She loves that.

She's still not too keen on belly time, but she's about rolling over. She was almost over yesterday, but her hand stops her. So once she figures out that she needs to do something with that hand, she be good and rolling! She's such a little wiggle worm, its crazy, I swear she never stops moving, talking, complaining, grabbing and BRINGING TO HER MOUTH!! That just amazes me. Just a month ago, she couldn't reach for things. Now she reaches, grabs, and brings to her mouth. She's not pro at grabbing yet, but getting better everyday. Love watching her grow and learn. :) She is my angel.

So why connect my cell to my blog if it isnt going post words correctly?! Ugh

LIFE; getting the best of me

I spend my time being worried about my weight, how I look, how my clothes fit and here I am forgetting about what I have. I'm so caught up in the process of losing weight, spending every waking moment thinking about it. I've realized, there is no miracle, it isn't easy, but I shouldn't spend all my time trying to be thin, beautiful, and only worry about that. Its important to me, but I'm forgetting what I do have and missing out. I might be 15lbs more than I would like, but I have a husband who loves me no matter what, he still tells me I'm beautiful, and he motivates me. I let guilt get to me, every time I eat just one damn cookie, I worry about that for a day or more! Time to have a great life and even out my fitness goals with my family and my joys. Its only been 4 months since I had my WONDERFUL daughter, and I am only 10 lbs away from pre-prego weight. I'd say I'm doing damn good. But I still beat myself up! Here's to me taking a step back and spending more time on meaningful moments, I'm still going to exercise about everyday, but not be so obsessive. Its OK if I miss a day, no need to beat my self up for it. If I don't eat healthy 100% of the time its OK. 1 thing at a time, I will get the body I want, but I'm going to slow down on worrying about it. right now is not the time to stress about weight. I've got other things happening right now.

JORDYNN

Jordynn will be 4 months on the 13th! She's grown and changed so much in the past 4 months! She's over doubled her birth weight.

She already holds her head up, lifts her body with her hands while holding her head up, smiles A LOT, giggles, responds to our voices individually, Moves her head to noise, grabs objects and moves them to her mouth, eats her hands, tries holding her bottle while eating, and already eats a whopping 8 oz every 3-4 hours! thats so crazy, she was only eating a half oz to 1 oz the day she was born. She's come a long way, and its been so much fun. I love when she wakes up from a nap or in the morning and when she sees me come in to pick her up she just smiles so big and starts kicking her legs frantically! She knows her mommy, and I love it!

Blog Update and Baby girl

Above photo: 3days old! 1st day home!

Not so good @ blogging! It's been awhile huh!? Well, lets get up to date then, Last I posted I was about 6 months along. Since then I had hard days, weak days, and good days. Now I have my baby girl and she is 4 weeks 1 day old! already.

She arrived 10-13-09 @ 3:30 pm! She came at 36 weeks 4 days. Labor was INSANE; Worst pain I have felt ever in my life!
Baby girl weighed 6lbs 5oz, 19 1/2 inches long. A beautiful dark complexion like her daddy and pretty much just looks like her daddy! She is beautiful :)
WHEN IT ALL STARTED - 10-12-09 (funny I posted on facebook that day, "25 days till my due date") little did I know it would all start that night.
About 9pm, my stomach hurt, almost just like I exercised too hard and my abs were pissed! Then I thought maybe I had gas. Last thing on my mind is that it was anything to due with the baby. It only got worse, but was constant. Called the doc and he said, could be slow contractions and not to worry, just come in if they start getting strong and close together. Well it was constant, so how was I to know how close together they were or even if I was having contractions. About 11pm, I was running a fever, called again,
Doc: Take a tylenol and rest.
I did and tried to rest, only thing that passed was the fever, until later!
Got up at 2am and was seriously sick of it, woke up Kev and said we need to go in. The ER was actually on top of it, they must only care about pregnant women in possible labor! LOL

- Anyway, Right up to L&D. Indeed I was having contractions, and another fever of 101.5. Got checked for UTI to see if that was the case, Negative. Maybe the flu? Nope.
Doc diagnosed it as "infections of the uterus" (forgot the medical term)

Had to be induced, only cure for the infection is birth.
Induction started at 6:46 AM. I was 2CM.
By 8AM he broke my water, I was 4CM.
Contractions are killing me at this point, I wouldn't have made it through without Kevin. I asked for an epidural and they said I couldn't because my platelets were low. WTF?!! They said we can check your blood again in 4 hours to see. humdiddly do, they took 5 hours!! and finally by hour 6 I got the epidural! By that point I was 7CM dilated 100 effaced. I may as well finished out the labor without it. Glad i didn't though! Seemed as if only 1 hour i was able to rest, if that, and it was time to push!
I was only pushing for 40 minutes! Felt like 10 to me. and here she be. I could not believe it. How amazing is childbirth?!

Now to add a funny part of it all; While getting the epidural, holding on to the nurse, my water really comes out and wowy the nurse got soaked! Once she took a step back it looked as if she pissed herself! It was embarrassing but funny. Kevin came back in the room and all I could do was give him a thumbs up! I felt A-mazing after the epidural!
Waited a whole 5 hours to see my baby after she was born :( I was very upset about that. I kept calling the nursery every 2 hours to see when I was gonna see her...they kinda played a run around on that. but I guess I understand somewhat, precautions I guess!! I only got to hold her for literallly 1 minute! Kevin got to walk her to the nursery tho, so that was nice.

Only needed 2 stitches, but had to have an IV for the whole labor plus the 2 day stay at the hospital! Wasn't fun. especially since they put it in the crease of my arm where it bends! I mean c'mon, I need to hold a baby and nurse her! I had them change it after the 1st night. They blew 2 veins! Ouch!

Day 1 after birth: I finally could really walk myself to the bathroom with no worry, besides pissing myself before making it becuase I had to wheel around a damn IV!
My ribs were really hurting from pushing! Every 3 hours the nurse would come push on my uterus! UGH. Didn't feel too good. I let the nursery have her the whole first night and half of the 2nd night! may as well take advantage while you can and rest up. considering I went thru 35 hours of no sleep and giving birth! I'd say we needed rest!

Day 2: I felt so much better, ribs still sore, kinda hard to breathe, and pretty dang difficult to sit, and ofcourse using the bathroom was a chore all in its own, STUNG like hell!!
We waited forever to be able to leave the hospital! Finally got to leave at 2pm. :)
- should have seen Kevin and I putting Jordynn's going home out fit on. Oh it was hilarious, I about peed all over! I am now pro at it. But that first day, nervous and excited! and putting her in the car seat, I didn't want to hurt her. Pro at that now too!

Since she's been home: Sleep has been crazy, but most days I feel alright, I'm able to exercise atleast every other day, depending on my rest! I pick sleep over exercise! (its more important) -- The first week and a half she would only sleep good if she was with us. Finally, I learned a trick, that should have been obvious! My friend Dawn had her for a couple hours one day while I went to the doc and had her sleeping in her bassinet the whole time!! now what the hell?! Well she had her swaddled differently than I was doing it. arms at her side and blanket pretty dang tight. Once we started doing that, she has been sleeping in her bassinet every night, for 3-5 hours at a time! Pretty dang awesome!
I ended up getting a crazy UTI within the 1st week after birth. Migraine from hell and achey bones! Glad its gone! -- I healed rather quickly, wasn't bleeding more than 2 weeks. Still a bit uncomfortable to sit because of stitches. Breast fed very well the first few weeks and then I started a pill that couldn't nurse with, plus I couldn't get her to latch properly and my nipples killed!! Since I have been off the pills I have been working on nursing again, she's not really takin to it. I will try a bit longer, and if not, it doesn't make me a bad mother. atleast I did it for 3 weeks even through the pain! I know its best, and its best if they get it thru 3 or more months. But its not working for me, and i can't get through the pain. I will buy a pump and pump as much as I can to feed her breast milk thru bottles! that way she is still getting it. Maybe I will produce plenty to last 3 months!!

She is healthy as ever. Never needed NICU and didn't get jaundus (spelling?) -- so thankful for my husband and getting me through it all! He talked me thru it and it helped SO much. Thankful my Mom and Sister could make it out so quickly! Mom baked delicious friendship bread, Amber did my laundry! it was awesome! :))

- Jordynn makes the funniest noises! she hehehe's like a horse, but add a baby grunt at the beginning. I laugh every time :)) So cute. -

I can't see my life without her! (baby girl below at 2 weeks old)